Monkey Repellant

If you google "monkey repellant" you would find the best way to ward off a pesky monkey is with a high-powered ultrasonic machine with "Multiplex Modulated Sweeping Ultrasonic Sounds"... available in India...

Now if you ask my oldest son Noah he would tell you the best way to scare away a monkey is by peeing on it... yes peeing on it!

Currently I am fighting the fight against my monkey hunting four year old and our nice new carpet...

One day Noah and Si wanted to watch a movie, so we went on Netflix to pick something other than Paw Patrol or Dinosaur Train. We found the movie Curious George... innocent right? Cute monkey explores the world and gets into a little trouble. Thats really it. George is not scary. There are no scary monkeys. So what should be the problem? Have you seen the intro?  I hadn't. Apparently George pops out of the floor and walls. What kind of issue could this possibly cause a child?



Sitting in bed with Noah one night he asked if we would tape up the floors and walls to stop the monkey from getting in. Confused, we told him there was no monkey and we would leave his door open. He went to sleep.

The next morning I go in his room to straighten up and open he blinds and the room smelled weird. I assumed it was just him... the boys in this house tend to be no bowl of potpourri. I stepped in the corner to find the carpet wet. Hmmm.
I asked Noah what happened and he said,"I scared the monkey away Mommy!!". He was very proud of himself. Still confused... He went on to tell me how the monkey would pop out of the wall and the corner. Obviously I asked if he was afraid of the monkey. He proudly responded, "no! I just pee on his back and he goes away Mommy!" Right!?

Confused pause... Thinking to myself what the $#%@?!?!

Awesome Buddy!



Monkeys 3 - Mommy (Carpets) 0



Is it just my kids or do other people have the same struggles!?!?

This is my life. Just the tip of the iceberg. You can't make this stuff up.

Introduction

Lets get one thing straight... I am NOT a writer! There will be spelling errors, poor grammar and horrendous punctuation.

I AM an A-type, clean freak, wine drinking, coffee relying, Mom of two little angels... correction, mom of two fearless forces of nature!!! I don't do yoga, I don't do "top knots", I don't drink coconut water, I swear, I cry, I loose my cool and no I don't know what I want (no women does!).

Organization is porn for me. I'm the person who walks down the cleaning isle and gets a high off the smell of bleach. You know that utter relaxation you feel when a stranger massages you? Yes that! That is what my soul feels when I see those colourful bottles of cleaner lined up perfectly as far as the eye can see. *ahhh*

Now God has blessed me with two amazing children and a man I cherish, however they don't quite get their jollies the same why I do... you will soon see.

I love my life, I love my husband and I love my kids... well most of the time.

Some days I feel like the only person/mom on the planet that deals with as much volume and crazy as I do.

In amongst the chaos... beautiful, messy, sticky, dirt covered, amazing moments happen. Now at the time I could cry but looking back they are the moments that make me laugh and love my family that much more. The pure innocence of a child is amazing, the pure defiance... well that leaves something to be desired.

I thought I'd document a few of these moments as they happen so one day I could look back and laugh. Nowadays the best way to capture these moments is by pictures and videos... the moments I am referring to are NOT the moments that I would want picture documentation of nor does anyone want to see these pictures... so let keep it to the writing.

Hope you enjoy.